devastatingly human

i love the cold weather. forces one to take shelter in one's own home. not that i'm complaining. perfect opportunity to snuggle under the quilt in a pullover and grow older in dreams. snuggle snuggle snuggle. today should have been a perfect day for books and snuggling but i braved the drizzle and went out to play frisbee instead. oh bother, i have so many books to read it's downright disheartening. i love piles of unread books, but not when i'm obliged to under tight deadlines and tutorial requirements. why oh why did i bid for not one but three literature modules in one semester. reading suddenly becomes such a chore and i frown with disdain and ennui.

but anyway.. yesterday proved it wasn't my turn to be interrogated. i was relieved, but still rather tired of their "your still a baby" jibes.

suddenly i feel embarrassed at reading my old blog and her words. They seemed raw and heartfelt at the time when i wrote then, but now i shrink away and wonder at the impetus. i must say some entries are rather good, in my opinion, while some just seem too forced; too intent on the intent to express that it becomes copious and extravagant to a fault. but anyhow, what could have possibly made me write like that, i remember the feeling, the impetus behind it, but i don't know it anymore. everything within me slackens in haste and my words turn out lacklustre and not so brilliant.

eloquence is synonymous with exquisite pain. and yet i wish i'll never have to drink the bitter wine again as i did years ago.

Joyce Lim unzipped at 9:42 PM with 0 comments
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