Sunday, October 29, 2006
1. Bring me go-karting. Somebody hasn't fulfilled this promise yet.
2. Write me little nice poems, enlightening quotes, words that border on the sublime and mail em, slip em under my door, or tie them to Russ's collar, whatever; i adore surprises.
3. Rent dvds to do with christmas and have a good clean cry with plenty of food and company.
4. Russ would like a new bone. and maybe a new owner haha.
5. And i would like a new christmas tree complete with decorations.
6. I would like more going out times.
7. I'd like a watch, timeless and classic in style so that it'll last through all kinds of seasons. Mine's defaced and worn because i wear it everyday since the day i got it.
8. A video recording of the 1997 Television Show of Scott Hamilton's Upside Down featuring him and ekaterina gordeeva skating to Charlie Chaplin's Smile.
9. A video recording of Disney's Valentine montage aired on TV in 1993? I don't know exactly when, but what i do know is that as a child I've always loved Disney for her simple effulgent take on love and friendship.
10. I want my christmas eves back. Joyce Lim unzipped at 3:23 AM with 0 comments
Saturday, October 28, 2006
i like looking down at him while he trots around by my side, his ears flopping up down up down. He doesn't seem to mind what big ears he has. only kids and dogs have that ability to make us smile without knowing so. he has a whole gamut of emotions. i don't think, i know. But i guess it's that mother child syndrome, we all like to think our new-born baby has more feelings than others. I see him smile. i can tell when his eyes light up and the whites of his eyes glaze over when he sees something chewable. Sometimes when his sleeping, i pull at his whiskers or fat lips and he either puts a paw out to push my hand away or trots to another corner. Sometimes he sighs, sometimes he farts. But mostly he just thinks his one of us, and lunges up into the car when we're about to go out and happily settles below the seats.
His not a big-boned australian bred retriever, just a diminutive sort of version. compact i call it. just nice. a pocket dog. But he thinks his the biggest dog around. but you know what they say, when a little guy doesn't know his little, he can do great big things, oh yes he can. Joyce Lim unzipped at 8:44 PM with 0 comments
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
now, just photos galore. the entire family on my dad's side went to raffles hotel for high tea just this afternoon. it was then i realised how big the interior really is. so of course me, the budding artistic photographer that i am, took lovely shots of our national monument.
and i've gone back to watching figure skating. in other words, just the greatest husband and wife pairskaters ever known, Ekaterina (Katia) Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov. you can tell i really like them from the way i memorise the spelling haha. Grinkov died young in 1995. Katia was only 23. Put together, they were greatness. There has never been, in my opinion, an equal to them since. click here if you're curious.
So once in a lifetime, this comes along.. you see a pair team like that, they felt and moved as one, each one knew what the other was about to do. Soul to soul, it was magic to watch. it was fabulous.
And it reminded me of the last few verses of a poem.
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that when you close your eyes,
i fall asleep
Whatever passed between them must have been sublime; troves under magnificent seas. and i shall not murder to dissect here into words. I could never explicate it. you would have to feel with me, else you could never understand.
Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:33 AM with 0 comments Saturday, October 21, 2006
as pen to paper
as lightning gives way to thunder
so am i your raging tempest, and you my lighthouse beacon. Joyce Lim unzipped at 12:08 PM with 0 comments
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
The cracks are starting to show. the apogee is giving way to the steady slope downwards. The time when everything was going so well seems far behind in the gloom.
Everything is against me. Circumstances, and the Makers of circumstances.
It's not so bad now actually, really, i can still handle it. I can still afford to take one step towards the precipice and look down. The deep breath before the plunge. I feel like plunging down before the breath and escape from all these. I feel like letting go. sometimes. of us. of us all.
and then i remember the people who have wronged or offended me, and darkness takes over me, and unnatural thoughts form likely deaths for each of them. i hate, to the very pits. I gall myself like salt to wound, like fuel to fire, like hatchet to hate. And i tremble, literally shaking with the frenzied energy wrath lends, like a dog's hackles viciously raised, i tremble, and my whole being quakes with embittered and savage desire.
i need sleep. others say i'm growing dangerously thin. I don't know why. i love food. there must be another reason.
ok let me remind myself of happier carefree times. Of things that touch nearer my heart than my head, thanks to my godbrother for a wonderful birthday present.
Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:08 AM with 0 comments Sunday, October 08, 2006
in a word, sian.
The haze thickens and mazes round us. A cottonwool of dark air, penetrating, lingering in cracks and crannies. Objects' shapes are blurred and remain floated in it.
A cottonwool. A region swathed in it. Not so much of its heaviness, but a lightweight air that's now visible.
argh it's irritating.
in a word, sian.
I want to take up another sport. lack of improvement motivates change.
i feel damn sian Joyce Lim unzipped at 12:09 AM with 0 comments
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Her friend went, "ah, that's because your not looking in the right places. Modes of transport, roads, pathways create an imagined boundary your mind unconsciously adheres to. Step off the well trodden road and wander in total opposition to these man made maps, and you'll find other things you thought weren't there."
I felt it satisfyingly enlightening. Something akin to "the limits of my language are the limits of my thought".
and i can't help but realise postmodernism views like existentialism and shit all stemmed from a literature long uttered before by others who lived before us. And then it's like how Wilde put it:
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone
else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation"
Everything that we've tried to live for, aspire for, and believe in has been done, a million and one times. We slip on the mud round the bends of street corners and jostle for space amongst treacherous umbrellas and hazy fingers grasping for a foothold. We slip on the mud. Just like ten thousand, ten million, billions of other street passengers have slipped before us.
mud upon mud, crust upon crust. We're all hurtling towards an inexorable progress that has been done before, and before and before before that.
Of course it's perfectly reasonable to question the validity in carrying on. In short, why do we even try. Why do we bother? i don't know, i really don't. Perhaps it's precisely this that keeps us on, searching for the reason why we're still searching.
i want so much more than they've got planned.
Button the mask, tie up those shoelaces, and just pretend this world of ours is enough for dreaming. Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:59 AM with 0 comments
Monday, October 02, 2006