devastatingly human

hello, I wish exams didn't contain us so. We have Confucius and the few thousand years of Imperial examinations in China to thank for.

and I wish I wasn't leaving so soon. Is it any wonder.. I will cry; you know this. Don't say be strong. It almost always encourages otherwise. I will take a scent of you, a strand of hair, your voice in a seashell, and check them in with me.

It was hard studying today with the strains of Rudolph and Santa and White christmas-es gliding through from the neighbour's house. oh wow, i loved it so. and I thought of all those christmas-es I'd spent; carolling in the streets, building a thin muddy snowman and aunty Dolly's and Michael's gingerbread house creations, Michael's nativity model in the living room when I was 8 (boy is he creative), and of course the tree, dinner, pudding and presents.

One christmas I rubbed my hands together and trudged back home in the snow, apple cider in my tummy and little toes gnawing the cold. That's how I first learnt that the best way to keep warm was to breathe in through the nose and out the mouth.

Some lessons you keep with you for life.

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Monday, November 20, 2006

up up and away

"this is houston. do you read me. hello?" hahhaha!
hello houston texas i will see you in less than two months time, and after that it's a crazy reunion with the hc pals :)

and so again i've found another reason to delay studying. Here i am stressing over airline tickets, preparing other relevant documents and surfing online shops for awesome boots and jackets.

yay!

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Saturday, November 18, 2006

catharsis and confession

i've been posting almost everyday for the past one week or so. i gather it's the denial mechanism nudging against the build-up towards the exams. oh sigh, whine, pout and whimper. can i ever be stellar-feller, well maybe, all my life i've never tried so hard to work towards the top. I'm the sort that works just enough to scrape by with respectable grades because i don't care for perfection. I'm generally satisfied with mediocrity as long as i still have my place along the elites. ergo, mediocrity according to their standards is enough for me. so one can rattle off and name-drop as often as one likes, using them as shield boosters. so for example i would go Hi, i'm from hwachong, and i was on scholarship. The part where i did enormously disappointing for A's would be omitted shamelessly, not to mention the part where i callously distributed away my scholarship money on God knows what.

what a poseur eh.. ah well we all are.

and speaking of money, i've been accused of being materialistic twice. once, by my God-fearing other worldly daddy, who has since stopped his pointless pontification, and by another person whom i shan't deign to mention.

well thanks. But i prefer to analogise it to guys and their primary issue. There are only two kinds of males in this world. One, those who admit to porn, and two, those who keep mum about it.

I don't see the need to admit to or deny something so universally paradoxical. If i am materialistic, i am only in so far as the rest of the world is. And if i say i am not, well well, we'll all be partners in our denial, shan't we?

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Friday, November 17, 2006

names in a bag

i suddenly thought of the cute little thingamachick of a dee pok bought for me a while back. searched my room before i found the little thing hiding in e original paperbag. yay, so cute, i want to wear to school tomorrow!

so anw pok and i have been thinking of a name for it. or is it he? she? hmm the first thing that came to both our minds was Chickadee. it really looks like a chickadee but the name's too common.
then i thought of birdie, and pok said why not call it kookoo. so i thought yes! a very quirky name indeed, i shall call it kookoobird! then on second thoughts, i thought not hurhur.

i like firdie. i think it's a better name than Iskandar, which was one of the names i was seriously considering. ok so come come, leave an idea or two in the tag board, u can't read for free ok. or how about sputnik? hehe.

and i have to go sleep now.

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

3 inches up

hi this is a reminder to self that i'd probably like nue shoes for christmas. Just one awesome solid pair of heels, and i'd wear em to death.

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

early bird needs more sleep

hello darlings! pseudo surprise breakfast date had a glitchy start because pok said he was coming at 8am, not that i know the time hello it's a SURPRISE. so ok 8am it was and i even joked lightly just before he put down the phone last night that he'd better do something unpretty to make himself wake up early cos i wouldn't want to give him a wakeup call to remind him that he has to surprise me. it would be so not surprising!

then of course yours truly always jinxes herself. a little side track here: i have sat in two people's cars and commented very loudly on their excellent steering-ship and what not and just 2 seconds later their car gets gashed down the side or in danger of being mauled sideways by a reversing car from the left. and then of course, i just spoilt my own surprise by being an insistent teen prickbopper last night. point to note: i really jinx things. i can't help it.

so durh what happens? pok really woke up late and i had to call him to remind him to come surprise me. %$#%@$#$... my mouth is really terribly true at the wrong-est of times.

we were late so breakfast buffet was scrapped and we settled for normal ronald macdonalds; say that ten times fast. hee :)

then it rained oh happy excited me. on the way home the drains were flooded and water kept gushing onto the roads. i took a photo of an excited pok. so all went well, i love the rain, brings an all too familiar christmassy feeling back. yay!

i took nice photos of Russ too. so that concludes the two boyboys in my life. Russ has this perpetual sad look sometimes it melts my heart so. It's always been said dogs have an old soul. although all the photos of him look the same they are NOT! so subtle that head is turned, that one eye raised, ears twitched. i like reading his body language. yesterday he slept by my bed and hiccupped his silly head off. then on saturday we found out that when my dad whistles at high pitch, he howls and whines to the tune. i have an awesome doggy hoho.

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Monday, November 13, 2006

insisting gets you no where

i'm a stupid woman. I kept insisting pok pick me up from town around late morning-ish because of some errands i needed to run.

pok kept insisting i do em another day.

i insisted otherwise.

in the end i spoilt my own surprise because he actually wanted to pick me up early from home for an early breakfast.
DAMNIT!!!! $%#$@$#@%

nevermind. i will go to sleep now and pretend i didn't hear a thing and wake up pleasantly surprised tomorrow hoho.

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

i must be bored

i bought myself suspenders last week on impulse and now i'm deliberating whether i should wear em to school tomorrow, as well as meditating if i should type in short form like dis or spell em out like that. Back to suspenders, they look rather O.K from the front, but i didn't count on the back clip pulling up my jeans so high my crotch area seems a good one metre shorter. so anw, i mean anyway, there was this look i wanted to pull off but not everything turns out as hunky-dory as it should be. My suspenders pull up my jeans so much so that from the back, my ass looks badly in need of liposuction. boohoo.

i like trying to pull off weird quirky or punkass styles but i don't think the latter suits me, or that i suit them. ah well, talking of punkass styles makes me think of getting that tattoo i got customised for me last year. If you look very closely you can see my initial "J" at the bottom.

I want. i have half a mind to go get it done next month or something. And maybe i'm only saying this so Pok'll get a shock of his life when he sees this post and start railing at me tml. i mean tomorrow. It's a test, to see how often he imbibes daily readings of my life. hah. i must be bored.

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

damn long but damn short

I AM THE MOST FUCKING SMARTEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE WIDE BEEEEG WORLD!!!
from a retest date in february, to january this morning, i came online on a flimsy whim just 5 mins ago and saw an opening for 20th dec and i took it!!!!!!!!!!

it was the fucking biggest heart attacking wait in the span of less than 4.11 seconds. first risking my january date by cancelling it first before i could book the december date. ANYONE COULD HAVE SWOOPED IN ONLINE WHILE I WAS CANCELLING MY JANUARY DATE AND TAKEN THE DECEMBER ONE FROM ME BUT noooOOOOOOO....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WIN!!!

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i heart food

i woke up this morning to find sushi and a packet of famous amos on the dining table for me hur hur. parents really do lub us alot yes?

lotsa failure sympathy going around. it grates your nerves sometimes, but when it takes the form of food, surprise surprise, i lub famous amos alot alot,

Joyce Lim unzipped at 11:28 AM with 0 comments

strike three out!

pok knows i'm selfish when it comes to food i really love. it pains me seeing the last morsel go to their demise in his somethingsomething; not just him but everyone else too.

i chanced upon websites which have spawned a shopping spree-ing frenzy again sigh. and i found a dash of music that tastes like this:

A swedish summer solstice meeting caribbean island blues with a dash of good old radio sounds of jive and swing. where life and rhythm all swing to a lighter drum.

and so because i really am irritated with straits times Life! for sharing esoteric avenues of music like that all the bloody time i won't share this.

i'm not good with failures; i seldom fail. and i say the the latter with indifference and in truth.

my life revolves ard what i can count with one hand. one, clicking "submit" for an earlier driving test date or else i'm doomed to a bloody re test next year and i can't wait that long, two, getting a superiority complex, three thinking of potential would-be's (cos so much hang in suspense right now), four thinking i'm too cool for school and stressing out nonetheless, and of course there's you, love. if not beside or before me, then behind, but always for me.

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

my two loves

hehe i dug these out from older posts. cute no?

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