Monday, November 28, 2005
yay. can't wait for christmas. can't wait for visions of melodies and sunscreen and glitterati.
PS. somebody actualy googled "03A14 Bimbo" and found this blog. AM I NEVER TO BE RID OF THIS MISNOMER??? unless other jcs have a 03A14 too. i must applaud this person who seemed really determined to find me then.
Joyce Lim unzipped at 11:53 AM with 0 comments Sunday, November 27, 2005
i've taken to bullying my dog lately. We've trained him from young never to enter the kitchen cos my grandma's sacred cooking activity should never be tainted with his furballs. So last week i deliberately broke a piece of Keropok in front of his nose and placed it very conspicuously on the kitchen tiles. Then i stood behind him, and like the voice of conscience, egged him on from behind in pursuit of that fine little dainty thing lying on the floor. i could sense his mounting confusion and anxiety. His paws kept scrapping the edge of the marble floor, dying to enter that forbidden domain. He has broken lots of rules before but never this one and so imagine his distress! Of which i was getting increasingly amused by hoho. He moved forwards and backwards, arched his neck behind to discern if i was really serious and pranced around at the kitchen door. When he so much as made an attempt to move forwards, i'd yell a dreadful NNNNOOooooooooo, deepening my voice and prolonging the OOOOOOO, and he'd scramble head over heels backwards again. HAHA
So i'd egg him on like the "devil" and yell at him to back off like a saint. Progressively so, the more i laughed my ass off at him, the more agitated he got and he took to barking and barking and barking at me, while i grinned merrily at him. HAHAHA
i am so bad to him. The last trick i played on him was by making shake hands with me using his left paw then his right paw then his left a thousand times, which bored him so but amused me tremendously. And yesterday i went to sentosa and saw super cute dogs runnin in the sand and the first thing i uttered was "My dog is so ugly lah compared to them". What a freudian slip opps! Which is true because he has been shedding hair due to some hereditary skin disease and it disgusts me. My dad used to have a dog named Lucky, i had my german sherpherd when i was one and i called him Blacky. I was thinking i might as well call my dog Yucky since his so ugly hmpfh. My grandma apparently reminds him of how lacklustre his coat has become because she always calls him Grass instead of Russ. then just now, i was watching some cartoon about a stallion reunited with his mare, which my mom called "his girlfriend" and i thought it was extremely funny the way my mom commented how Russ would never get attached cos his so ugly now. Poor russ hee
Then yesterday charlene and i were bullied a couple of times at the beach. First we chose a nice spot to play frisbee and suddenly while we were happily complaining about how lousy we were, a gang of touch rugby girls strode up like Caesar and Co. and practised their throws RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of us. i would have told them to get lost had it not been for a fact that it was like a thousand tanned butchy girls against the two very powerless and may i remind you, the very feminine us. SO, we pathetically slunked back to our mat and moped. We decided to go watch one of the beach touch in play, but of course the day couldn't pass without another lousy bunch of girls suddenly crowding right in front of us, blocking our view. Fine, we shifted our mat closer to the "courts" so we could sit and observe the game. Then, while we were happily watching a game on our mat, thinking we couldn't possibly get bullied a third time in the same day WITHIN LESS THAN TWO HOURS, powerful gusts of wind made my towel fly and bowls of sand, each weighing approximately 1kg each were flung straight in our faces. Apparently ANOTHER bunch of skanky buncha touch girls ran past us and created a mini hurricane Joycechartrina around us. THAT IS PATHETIC FOR YOU. and me.
My mom is very funny. she has been cracking me up lately but there's this terrific one liner she dropped. Upon telling her how i was smsing some guyfriend of mine a few days ago she suddenly blurted out: "don't get attached to him ah.. he'll drop you.."
DROP ME??
"ya... like a rock." Joyce Lim unzipped at 11:01 PM with 7 comments
Friday, November 25, 2005
it tears my soul apart when it rains
and when it rains
it rains so slow
so slow
nice lyrics. how pertinent. a surreal imagination takes over me when i look out the window in dusks and spy with my little eye children playing in the streets, on swings, chasing balls with dogs at their tails. i don't want to grow up. i still want my A to Z fresh in my mind. like rubber candy i munch on when teething. There are times when i feel i cannot be more alone, but i revel in it. a bouncing transparent bubble enclosed with me inside as i watch, and i watch, and watch. that silent laughing world of which i'm deaf to. a kid skates by me, i barely feel the ripples of the wind frictionised by the touch of our cloths. We're always dreaming of the world outside. i create the little world inside, polly pocket style. oh but don't you know the grass is always greener where it rains. and when it does rain on your side, you won't want to cross over anymore.
and so to finish up my poem, which on second thought, doesn't need retouches.
Raindrops
like snow on cars
when light hits
silhouetted
on hands like grey moles
A window's silvery companion
shadowed
tumescent
by others who have come
and i read an email. and it rained inside me. and you know how when it rains, it tears my soul apart. Joyce Lim unzipped at 7:44 PM with 2 comments
This feels so much like last year during A levels. rainy seasons, exams, and the anticipation of goodwill and cheer after.
and i will press on.. sigh Joyce Lim unzipped at 9:53 AM with 0 comments
Thursday, November 24, 2005
It's when your really busy that you wish you had somebody to actually miss and think about. ah well.. who wants me to miss them? now's a good time to enter your name and drop it in the comments box. My comments box have been stark nakedly empty recently why why why?
ok.. nevermind! i shall start the ball rolling by entering somebody whom i know will want me to miss her.
Miss Zheng ZhiHong!!!!! yay
-_- oh god.. it's pathetic when you can only think of ONE person who'll want to be remembered by you. Numero Uno.
Alamak, la pathetique soul, woe is me :( Joyce Lim unzipped at 11:05 PM with 3 comments
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
hmmm ok, back to studying. Joyce Lim unzipped at 8:53 PM with 0 comments
But the climacteric point of our conversation came when he expressed desire to watch me play at one of my touch rugby matches one of these days. Not that it matters that my parents aren't there to watch. Whose parents are there anyway? It was just nice and reassuring to know that my dad makes the effort to understand and support me in whichever way he can.
On a sidenote, i do think it's depressing that it isn't in our singaporean culture to have parents standing at the sidelines cheering their kids on. Their only present at academic prize ceremonies and graduations but seriously who gives a damn. I don't. I'd rather my parents watch me run past the finish line than shed tears at my graduation. That being said, i was on holiday in Canada when i realised just how much my godrelatives took pride in my godcousins' sporting achievements and schedules.
right, Badminton, rugby, football and golf is on the telly now yay bye bye
i shall leave you with a parting shot of my badminton hero taufik hidayat
Joyce Lim unzipped at 6:20 PM with 0 comments Sunday, November 20, 2005
How we long for the kinds of love: love over-zealous, passionate love, oh love consuming. But today i saw a different kind of love. The tender adoration, deep affection and respect was so telling in their faces. Not the fiery and passionate amorousness, that bursts forth on and off, but the love of a quiet quality; where still waters run deep.
and i thought to myself: beautiful, simply beautiful. How often is it that our significant other declares we're beautiful and means it through and through. And i realise, i don't need bourgeois adulation; and i don't need hackneyed amorousness. The quiet stoic love that burns unending, devoid of passionate outbursts, but of serene intensity. that's the kind of amazing love i think i'd rather have now. Joyce Lim unzipped at 12:00 AM with 0 comments
Thursday, November 10, 2005
nights just become another justification to feel oh so absolutely cantankerous. why why why. i keep running to all the wrong places of sorts to seek slight repose when i know i should just come to You. And i do, but i fall away, and then i try again, and then it seems there's nothing to keep me, only the memory of sorts to anchor my feet but my heart, and oh my soul, how they search, pine, and wander, and wonder. And all i seek is some respite from the existentialist state of my life. oh believe me, increasingly so the insignificance and the fact that i am of no consequence to the world mars my reality from time to time. And it probably feels great to stand beside the ocean and feel small. but how tired i am of trifles. how banal and hackneyed they have made our lives become. why can't i throw off the yokes and be rid of these. indulge in the minutiae of life so i espoused but it troubles me that they irritate me so. I need to focus on the grand scheme of things.
And in the quiet brought about by weariness..
that damn history essay beckons Joyce Lim unzipped at 9:15 PM with 0 comments
Sunday, November 06, 2005
the great thing about writing is that a piece of work's layered over with multiple interpretations the more you read and re-read it. and i think to myself, what started out as a deliberate musing of someone or something, began springing into adventitious offshoots, which suddenly takes on more than what you ever imagined. now that's cool. nothing stays constant, methinks. not even words that have been already written, which by convention dictates, retain their solidarity.
i've been meaning to post up photos of my most recent clubbing adventure. which has been about 2 months since. please congratulate me on my hiatus. it wasn't easy. but somehow it gets easier now. i'm tired of it, i don't know why. perhaps a long absence might just be the thing to spur me back into motion, but.. we'll see, we'll see. for now, i present to you my trigger happy moments.
Joyce Lim unzipped at 5:56 PM with 0 comments Wednesday, November 02, 2005
and i'm home with podywody, wapple, russ and armed with another dvd with lotsa fruits and ribena to sob my sorry night of solitude away. ok.. maybe not so sorry.. but i'm definitely alone in my enterprise tonight. the "stay away from zouk" enterprise. didn't mind the idea actually when my friend screamed over the phone just now asking if i was going, but the thought of the jostling, the bruised toes and joints after, coupled with the last minute information that girls have to pay tonight.. it was bye bye clubbing and HELLO HOME.
this is bad leh.. i realised i type about nothing but the banal proceedings of my life nowadays.. i'm descending into what i hate most about bloggers. the kind i despise when they holler about nothing but where they went, what they did, with whom, when and how.
such is a day in the life of joyce. tis' tough ok.. all those baffling and perplexing decisions to make.. ideas and thoughts kept swarming around in this little brain of mine all clamouring for attention. my bimbotic mind was bewildered by such imminent and pressing issues to make. issues like.. what to wear for dinner. jeans? shorts? shorts with sweater.. AHHHH... then clubbing? tonight? WHY? NOW? YES?? OKIEEEE but WAIT.. it's gonna be crowded, but heck care the world is there.. gonna be hella fun seeing 3/4 of my friendster list there.. but i can't dance when it's crowded.. WHAT?? NOT FREE ENTRY?? WHY... DAMN ZOUK.. OK GO HOME.
ya.. basically i saturated my thought flow for the past 4 hours i spent agonising over "important" issues for you la.. so you'll know how confused i was. it's actually supposed to be a joke.. like i'm taking this crack at myself.. but only pple like hongy will laugh cos she can imagine how i'd behave when i'm really perplexed by trivial stuff. eg. counting to ten. and i kid you not.
i shall make a worldwideweb postit here on my blog reminding myself to write about something lyrical and somewhat intellectual next time.
Raindrops.. ah.. there's a nice topic.. i've actually thought of one stanza..
Raindrops
like snow on cars
when light hits
silhouetted
on hands like grey moles
A window's silvery companion
shadowed
tumescent
by others who have come
remind me to finish that poem up.
and DAMNIT somebody just called to ask if i'm going to zouk. make that the seventh person tonight.
now i feel like going :(
YES?
NO! charlie and chocolate factory is waiting
such is the vociferous tone my thoughts take on, being muted behind the skull for so long.. BOOOOOOOO Joyce Lim unzipped at 10:52 PM with 0 comments