Monday, August 28, 2006
Marching to the beat of a different
Drum.
But just lately I have
Realised
The best is yet to come.
and yet everything's going so well.
It's one fine day indeed. A fine day to feel exultantly happy. A fine day to slip through the crags.
It's a fine day for anything and everything.
and everything IS going so well. Joyce Lim unzipped at 10:25 AM with 0 comments
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Joyce Lim unzipped at 2:09 AM with 0 comments
Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:55 AM with 0 comments Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Right, and here i am wondering what life will be like should my exchange application be approved. four months in Canada. now there's dislocation for you.
Returning to an imagined past. There, i've said it. I feel all singaporean and none canadian. Joyce Lim unzipped at 3:48 AM with 0 comments
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
As i took the bus home today, i couldn't help but imagine cracks appearing beneath my feet. And the premonition that goes with all misfortunes, hounded me on the way home, and deep inside i knew i couldn't bear it if the carpet should be pulled from under me again. And so i took my first deep breath, and in seeped a little dislocatedness, and for a moment i felt so disjointed and forsaken. And then i heard our song, but it made no connection, and i felt no warmth. For it felt like you were leaving, instead of staying.
And yet, everything's going so well.
O my darling,
how falsely true i've been. Joyce Lim unzipped at 10:51 PM with 0 comments
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Joyce Lim unzipped at 9:56 PM with 0 comments Thursday, August 17, 2006
It reminds me of a scene in a movie where a basketball coach chastises his african-american kids for degrading each other and themselves. It is one thing to be called a "nigger" by a white man, he reproaches, but another thing for them to start calling each other by the same name as if it were something to be proud of.
it's all very well for someone to say that it's good people can take issues like these, turn them around, and use them on themselves for occasions to laugh about. But i find it very hard to envision "yo bitch", in place of a normal obliging "hello", could be imbued with any self-awareness at all, much less "nigger" or any other derogatory term.
i stumbled on a particular angsty teenybopper blog title one day which read "Happy Birthday Trophyfuck" and winced. I shall not debate the "cool-ness" factor of the in-generation now, especially their camaraderie-esque desire to build names for friends as though it were a spelling bee contest.
Trophyfuck is a pretty nice name once you use it often enough, that it gets hackneyed and shrivelled up like iloveu's that you start to search for an even better derogatory term cos it's insulting, ergo special.
wow, i would so feel the love.
or is that not how they say it nowadays? Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:53 AM with 0 comments
Saturday, August 12, 2006
I have to thank two particular waiters of ours. To sell the last chicken, one of them practically chased a couple down to the pub next next next door, and insisted they order the last stuffed chicken of the night instead of the chicken wings they initially wanted.
hahahahahaha!!
And i love packages. Enid Blyton popularised the happy crackling feeling one gets when one receives letters/mail/packages. She always wrote them as parcels. I love parcels! One receives parcels when one shops online. And it's a nice happy crackling feeling when one comes home at the end of the day to parcels unopened and addressed to you and only you. Tis' exclusive and exquisite yay! and i like the last photo of me and pok double yay!
Joyce Lim unzipped at 2:27 AM with 0 comments Wednesday, August 09, 2006
It is scary, that kind of feeling. And i think i finally know how to convey it. imagine yourself at home, but all forms of life gone, washed away, like some terrible holocaust. And you look at the window and see abandoned cars, wisps of paper in the biting air, windows shattered, dead swings and empty hallways. And you run down into the road and see and hear nothing but the sound of silence descending all around. The air of dead-ness.
Imagine yourself an astronaut. alone. ship abandoned. oxygen tank depleting. And the view of earth is breathtaking. oh, indescribable. But it doesn't warm you. You're Alone. oh how horrifying a word. Alone, and left alone, forgotten. And you dance through the universe slowly dying, but still alone, always alone.
Fast forward the ages of time, and stand at the edge of something greater. All you see is the vastness of everything else except us. deathly beautiful maybe, even. Joyce Lim unzipped at 3:03 PM with 0 comments
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
i am getting quite the music from him. Thus, contingency plans have been drawn and various debts been called in to finance the monetary shortage. i even have to dig up my various foreign currencies so i can go to the money changer tomorrow and cash in some haha. er oops.
sorry la pokpokgeh. i thought after all this shopping sprees, i'd finally have enough to satiate me for 2 months or so, so i can settle down and SSS. SSS meaning start saving, schooling. Turns out, i'm quite the dumbass afterall, because i may have gotten my clothes, but i can't go out anymore because i haven't a penny on me. No going out=no wearing nice new clothes=stupid dumbdumb!
Pok la!
P.S i just typed this on msn while talking to tongkai. i think this vaguely describes somebody we all know. eh eh? :)
"u know there are those in sec sch who look vaguely attractive but when they grow older.. they grow vaguely gruesome?" Joyce Lim unzipped at 8:43 PM with 0 comments
sigh, sorry if i sound silly and sentimental but this was the house i spent the most part of my younger days in. Where i'd prance around taking two hours to eat my dinner because dinner's served at 7 and the chinese drama serial i used to watch only started at 9.30pm then. In the mornings, i'd swing on this 4 seater metal swing out on the garden, and once i ate cereal and choked and coughed blood. One night, dad sat me on our german shep Blackie and he teared round the house through trees and doors and glass and i cried and mom scolded him.
After kindergarten everyday, i'd either take my afternoon naps on the mattress where the maid could iron and watch me, or sleep in my grandma's room where i'd play coy infront of the mirror and that's how my maid caught me and hit me with a golfclub because i wasn't asleep. That night, while the coolie-cool was on, i hugged my coupon and my mom told stories and meowtickle-ed me to sleep and i whimpered in pain when she accidentally touched my bruise. Daddy literally rolled downstairs and railed at the maid till dawn came.
Then i scratched my neighbour's neighbour's kid's face on the bus home one day and mommy bought a piggy bank and wrapped it up nicely and made me stand outside her gate at night to redeem myself. i pranced around again while waiting for them to answer the bell and dropped the piggybank and it shattered.
So, i got out of the car yesterday and surveyed the area i knew i so well before. And it nearly moved me to tears. It was exactly as i pictured it ever since we left, exactly as i remembered. Pok comforted me with the fact that maybe one day i'll buy it back and live with the ghosts of my past happily ever after.
Photos now! of the sleepover, outings and lots more. sleepover at my punggol place was awesome! Pok and i finally learnt how to play mahjong yay!
My old house! Rather picturesque is it not? The attic's two stories, with high beams and lofty ceilings and a long staircase leading up to it and bats and everything. This was my childhood.
That's the three slopes i was talking about where i used to race bikes with the neighbours. you can't see them from here cause my house's right at the bottom of the hill. It's a fricking long drive in, pok almost got lost cause i couldn't remember the way in, lotsa twists and turns. I always secretly fantasized about still living there. Because, that way, i am almost certainly hundred percent plus chop guaranteed a car of my own because it's impossible to walk out to the nearest bus stop. hurhur, ok dreaming over.
Sneaked around the side of the house. The current owner still keeps our previous lawn furniture! :)
the log i used to race my turtles on. The current owners still keep it. gah, sentimental is me.
Still looks the same. Just the colour of the gate, and little changes to the garden. no more cactus plants :( it used to be a wake the whole family up at 2am all must take photo with cactus plant when it flowers kinda affair.
parting shot
Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:45 AM with 2 comments