Sunday, July 30, 2006

The stick was infinitely better

i forgot sunsets over the east. truly, sunsets are as different between east and west as are sunrises. I rode a train back to childhood memories, tactile and synaesthetic. oddly unfamiliar familiars, and vice versa. tangerine sky, delicious fields and 3D houses march side by side.

I forgot evenings out on the porch, the minor roads out, playing badminton, flying kites, racing down slopes on creaky bikes and taking the weekly friday walks up the neighbourhood to pastor's house for cell group. I forgot the touch of grass, wide open spaces beyond the playground, right across the road. That was the road i used to envision why chickens crossed the road.

I forgot how i jumped through every sofa in the living room; they had to be replaced almost every two years. Hot afternoons after school were spent dragging mattresses out onto the different stair landings and sliding down each level, delighting in every rhythmic bumpbumpbump along the way.

But most of all i forgot what it was like to have parents on evenings. for dinners. to hear the car rev up the porch after i'd showered after doing something spectacularly dirty and silly and stamp my feet hard on the floor so they'd know i was waiting. One night i panicked because i didn't have a straw to hoist up my Singapore flag for art class the next day, and dad took a saw to the tree in the garden and sweatily sawed me a rough crooked stick. i wrinkled my nose and thanked my maid when she found a straw at last. And then those nights i'd play catcharoo with mom in the room we used to share. One two three, she'd pretend not to catch me as i ran up and down the master bedroom, then pop, and she'd swing me hard against all currents of air. Then it was time for coolie-cool, as i called it, and we'd switch on the aircon and she'd "meowtickle" me to bed, after i'd sheeshee and dadu-ed. And i'd hug my coupon tight and listen to bedtime stories of Cao Cao, liu bei and zhu ge liang. Sometimes she remembered snippets of The Red Chamber, and sometimes i'd listen to stories of The Water Margin. Yue Fei, Emperor Kang Xi, stories of how CaoCao chained his warships together at sea and paid for it dearly when they were burnt down. And i'd marvel at how much she knew, and how i loved her for her stories.

Somewhere past time's past, lie the roots of all lovely smelling thoughts. And that in itself is legend enough for me.

Joyce Lim unzipped at 12:08 PM with 0 comments
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

wentworthy

i don't see why an overrated diva like Mariah Carey whose fat enough to contain her unnecessary diva-like behaviour gets to hold the hand of Wentworth Miller in her music video, The Emancipation of Mimi, and i don't. Anyway it should be the Emaciation of Mimi la given her size, pee yoo.

i've been hooked on a new series, way better than The O.C, One Tree Hill, Smallville yada yada. i snatched the dvds away from pok which is why i'm typing this at 5.30 in the morning, awake and full of wentworthy thoughts. people would pay to have offspring as delicious as that. YUM! Yumyum indeed.

Joyce Lim unzipped at 5:27 AM with 0 comments
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

those moments

i love those moments. i like to wave at them as they pass by.

there comes a time when u have to do the right thing. I was thinking of moments when you surpassed my expectations and became greater than i thought you were. I think i've found it.

you know as the years roll by, we probably wouldn't remember much of ourselves. But the funny thing is, we'd remember the really trivial and the really poignant. those are the moments that make up what we think our lives add up to.

lately i've been easily distracted, frustrated and easily provoked. horrible of me to take it out on you but there's that. sometimes i think the reason why we blow up at others is because of one simple reason: that we trust and know them long enough; and therefore rely on them to take the blows. The same logic applies to why we yell at our parents but try all ways and means to please a friend. Because you are secure in the mutual knowledge that you and your parents share an unbroken kinship; ironically, so you can yell at them just the same.

So this is just what i mean. i'm not afraid to hurt their feelings.

and here's Russ. lovely photo of him and his favourite ball, since his got none and can't have kids hur hur.

Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:15 AM with 0 comments
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Friday, July 07, 2006

A personal statement

i have to write a personal statement for an application to an overseas university on an exchange program.
Frankly i've been abit out of touch with writing testimonials and personal statements and references. A check with an old folder revealed i have at least a template to work with (thank God), but that was my letter to the unis in the UK written during my A levels.

And then it overwhelms me again. sigh. soul pathetique.

Hong said she started her exchange program personal statement saying why she chose NUS over others. I guess that is smart. No coordinator giving you a place overseas would like to see NUS students blaspheming NUS.

So i drew up a mental list of all the cliched stupid things that would suck up to these NUS coordinators. Like, i chose NUS because of its top 20 ranking. It is well respected, has great professors, great opportunities for undergraduates to pursue a variety of programs and integrated learning, across cultures and countries blah blah blah...

But really i didn't want to go there. I only went there because where's a humanities JC student supposed to go, after she's been denied a place in NUS law, and doesn't have the financial means to take up her offers overseas, but to the only well established Arts faculty in Singapore that is NUS.

i feel i should be honest. "I want this place so badly because i would be extremely bitter at being rejected a second time at a chance for overseas learning. It doesn't take much to demoralise a person."

well hey, that's personal shit dude.

and a hiatus from blogging commences.

Joyce Lim unzipped at 2:42 PM with 0 comments
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Saturday, July 01, 2006

i'm loved

and i got hong's present/presents. yay i have a webbie named after me. i like all of em oh so much, i'm thinking of changing blog address if possible

here's a quick peek of her poem on the new webbie.

here

Joyce Lim unzipped at 3:11 AM with 0 comments


pok is loved

something quotable
"i hope you don't love me less because i was late today, just like i don't love you less cos you left biscuitcrumbs in my car."

haha.

Joyce Lim unzipped at 3:03 AM with 0 comments
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