Thursday, June 15, 2006
Suddenly i don't feel like going. So i sigh and wonder why am i being difficult again. But am i? Much as i know i should be happy i actually get to go on a holiday with pok, i can't help but know things don't always turn out the way you expect them to. Especially holiday expectations; just look at Redang; at least i came back with newfound insights and beautiful photos, but will HongKong be all i ever wanted and expected and more?
I wonder when ever will it be my turn to tour the world. And i want someone beside me to taste that. I reek, reluctantly, of envy whenever i hear of friends, lovebirds, touring Europe on their own. Spain, Paris, London, Rome. oh Parents.. bah! How can they know that i don't care if lovely moments and snapshots of the world i spend with my significant other isn't going to be the one i marry. I don't care if at that point of my youthful existance i once shared my heart with another. At least i have those moments, shared with husband-to-be or not, i don't care.
someone once told me with all i had going for me, it was a wonder i wasn't as well travelled as my contemporaries. Now who can i blame it on? Myself, for starters, bad A levels results, no scholarship, no London, No UCL, no law degree. And i think of all the places i could have been had i gone overseas. My fault, no doubt about it.
I give my heart to someplace, somewhere larger than it can contain. Believe me, with all my heart, when i say that i yearn so much to tear asunder the things that prevent my going, i don't know how to say this, but it's not so much the idea of travelling that appeals to me but the thought of giving a part of myself away to each and every country i've been to. To grow in wonder, to be wiser, more beautiful through foreign things and stranger places.
To put it into another perspective: Just so in old age when i reminisce on old times, i'd have a lot more to say when i go "Remember the times when we..." Joyce Lim unzipped at 2:52 AM with 1 comments
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