i spill saltwater everywhere i go. on my clothes, the floor, buried deep within the fur of my dog, my beloved blue stufftoy i call Squishy, my pillows.. ah yes, more so on the pillows. i don't know, i woke up this morning and i felt a damp clammy smell wafting through. and then i remembered why i did.
it stains me. through and through. stains my face my cheeks, it streams down to my neck, but more so of my heart. it drips out, no no.. it spills out rather, like an unstoppable gush through an open dam.
hello good morning how'd you do? what makes the rising sun so new? what makes everything wobble so precariously in my world when my eyes are splashed red and bruised white.
hello good morning i just learnt a new way to cry. you see you bury your head among the pillows and choke out tears that you were trying to restrain behind a wall. you bleed out the tears with strangled screams and reticent anguished murmurings of God Help Me i need you here so. and there you go, i'm learning to breathe by crying. gasp by gasp, heave by heave.
why doesn't anything turn out right for me? why why why. bitter and anguished and hurt and desolate me. can anyone comprehend the protracted void in my heart that i've been wearing since i quite forgot when. can't you see it emblazoned right across my shirt, can't you see the glimmering eyes. this is a way that i say I Need You. this is the way that i say i'm learning to breathe. this is the way i say i need someone to break my fall.
my head hurts. it throbs as if i were in a circus. i feel like a ironic clown.
Send Somebody oh God please. i could do with a little help here. yesterday was the culmination of everything. of broken bonds, of fine lines and hatred, of desolation, of falling, of lousy relationships. these abundant skies care nothing for me. I AM ABUNDANT with sadness and all consuming hollowness, i could do with a little reversal. let the rain pour down and make me smile.
i'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall. i'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies.
hello good morning how you've been? yesterday my head kicked in, i never knew i could hurt this bad.

Joyce Lim unzipped at 11:12 PM with 0 comments
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