Thursday, January 26, 2006

not alone then

another day has gone and i'm still all alone. sigh. you'd think age dims the heart of feeling. my nine year old cousin scoffs when King Mustafa dies and Simba is left all alone in the savannah. but i tear. my nine year old cousin lets out a "what's this man! loser!" when John Smith has to leave Pocahontas behind. and i tear. AGAIN.

ah well, sometimes i wonder to myself, am i really all alone in this small enterprise of mine. cry at everything and anything. boo. and then i ask myself where's this taking me.

i was lying in bed one morning and it suddenly occurred to me that i could just possibly leave something behind as part of my legacy, the legacy of being once a youth. the greatest age of mankind, to fall, and to start learning to take falls. and i had great impetus to keep a written diary of my misadventures, pain, happiness and pass it on to my daughter when she turns sweet eighteen. i say daughter because a son would probably scoff at my pains. and i would fill the pages with things mundane or not; soulful and genuine, and hope she tears when she reads it and realise that i was once young like her and full of love, and dreams, and of fulfilment.

and so this post is likely to be dedicated to a future darling girl of mine, the babe in the woods; for her warm searching heart, for the kindred spirit in her.

p.s i really wish there's so much much more to everything else

Joyce Lim unzipped at 9:54 PM with 0 comments
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