Saturday, February 04, 2006
i miss everything about the past. my schools, the countless hours of training, teachers droning, that irksome scent of textbooks and delicious snatches of milo and twisties and smses under the desk. i want my abc's of learning, i don't want to be twenty.
i don't want to feel twenty. as if expectations come with being older. i'm still the same old girl curling up in sofas at citylink watching slanting sunrays and people go by with a book and coffeescents.
and i struggle now to find words. and as i'm writing this, i pause, and look out the window into the empty nightsky, and wish for inspiration to find me; or words to search this emotion. so artificial. perhaps arcane thoughts are best left unsearched, no good demystifying them anyway.
and now that i have somebody to miss, i question myself listlessly why i still stare out window with jazz in tow and wish and wish for what i know not. more? has it not come to this? our endless search for love, is that not why i spent the past few years of my life subscribing to jazz and lonesome nights alone.
no, i've spent almost three years of my life trying to deify that glorious feeling of happy and weightless sadness that wash over me simultaneously; and try as i might, words never come close to pinning them down.
so perhaps, if i keep on trying, one day leading inexorably on to the next, beautiful descriptions will seize my pulsing heart, and drag it under water and open my eyes to the wreck of words beneath. Joyce Lim unzipped at 12:28 AM with 2 comments
Comments:
i like ure latest post. "open my eyes to the wreck of words beneath". let's hope u get what ure searching for
and just to encourage you, keep on writing!
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and just to encourage you, keep on writing!
# posted by 
: 2/04/2006 12:52 AM
: 2/04/2006 12:52 AM