devastatingly human

Lately the pages of life have been smooth-sailing; and the hands that dictate movement and reading have stayed when the pages should be stayed, and flipped, when they should hazard by fast. I feel i should thank God, (and already have) for the trivialities of pleasure. everything has been going so well i dare not whisper out my thank you's too soon for fear the level lake crumble into slippery crags, and everything is lost. Even in this manner of good fortune, it is cowardly, as one may say "O ye of little faith", to fear the moment should spiral downwards. For it only goes down when it comes up, and vice versa. This cycle imprisons all human experience. And it is during the deep breath before the plunge, or the deep sigh before the rise, that a sense of dislocation pervades within us.

As i took the bus home today, i couldn't help but imagine cracks appearing beneath my feet. And the premonition that goes with all misfortunes, hounded me on the way home, and deep inside i knew i couldn't bear it if the carpet should be pulled from under me again. And so i took my first deep breath, and in seeped a little dislocatedness, and for a moment i felt so disjointed and forsaken. And then i heard our song, but it made no connection, and i felt no warmth. For it felt like you were leaving, instead of staying.

And yet, everything's going so well.

O my darling,
how falsely true i've been.

Joyce Lim unzipped at 10:51 PM with 0 comments
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