devastatingly human

i like to smell the first whiffs of inchoate thoughts before i come online to blog. i'd love to plunge headlong into lyrical verse, transcribing germinal seeds into mature trains of words but i cannot. such spontaneity eludes me. the fastidious me will vet thoroughly my entire entry anyway before i decide it's worth posting up and then i cannot claim that inspiration led me to type this.

for example, Mozart and Beethoven are two very prodigious composers but their resemblance ends there. one composes music as soon as it charms its way to mind, the other, scrupulous and meticulous over every single harmonizing chord from bar to bar. so shall i be the tuneful artesian who listens to her own licentious swinge or shall i attempt to tweak and tune every string till my aberrant deliberation spills into designful cerebrate inspiration. i shall be neither. mere mortals don't pontificate. we just listen and wait for our time to fulfil a higher calling, or so we hope.

the past few days have been gloriously hot and sunny. except for that one occasion yesterday when my mom was driving us home. rain fell hard and spitefully. as if the wind had gathered them all to her bosom in gnashing jealousy, then flunged them down in a lover's rage; dancing a tribal dance, spearing our metal fortress with her dropsy arrows and melting our garments to even darker shades of poison when we got out of the car. it reminded me of a song.. "singing in the rain", and again that unchecked desire welled up inside and i felt compelled to dance outside under rain and stormclouds. as did today when i was walking out and felt a happy sun ray on my face, in blasted Sheryl Crow's I wanna soak up the sun, and i felt so pleased with myself and my zen boy, who seems to know the pertinent songs to fit well suited situations.

But For Now.. let me say i love this. i enjoy the nice tik tak tak tak of the keyboard, the sudden incongruent change of a hippy song like Michael Jackson's punjabi mixed Billie Jean to a mellower Renee Olstead's A Love That Will Last; which i will then have to swiftly change the shade of my heart from funky orange to huey blue, and of course.. Jamie Cullum's "But For Now".

so for now, i'll just say i love this, i love love. nothing more seems important right now, and tomorrow can wait come whatever. but right now, right now, faraway futures, idle talking i never have planned smile at me while my zen boy works his magic again tonight.

Joyce Lim unzipped at 8:45 PM with 3 comments
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Comments:

wah this entry sounds very 'yannish'! must be the elaborate style eh. just thought i'd tell u that 'singing in the rain' with rain falling as hard as arrows and spears is very anti-climax! and painful! but glad that the storm cleared up fast enough. haha.

and by the way my favourite track on twentysomething now is "but for now" - i love it too. whee!

# posted by

hong : 10/04/2004 11:24 PM

haha hongy ill take tt as a compliment.i nv tot i had any distinguishable style,which sucks.

dearie i miss u!!

come london nxt yr k :) ill find out abt e law scholarships.

# posted by

yan : 10/05/2004 4:07 AM

ya i did realise the hard rain was very anti climax. i'd prob go ouch ouch while dancing in it haha but oh well.. yannnnnnnnnnn i did badly for prelims.. AGAIN. A's WILL KICK MY ARSE before i manage a revenge, bah.. i hope to join you next yr too dearie

# posted by

Joyce Lim : 10/05/2004 6:38 PM