Monday, December 20, 2004
they say test not. but i demand to know your reason for testing Abraham; and Job, and wonder why can't things be tit for tat? allow me the scant dignity to rationalise. for you created us in your likeness, and in our fallen glory have descended to what now philosophers eulogise: mere mortals. mere mortals that slacken, that fall, and sicken and die, but are more than capable of punching holes in the sky that even Zeus would envy. Mortals, the word epitomises Man's innate failing. that we are doomed to die, so that every moment is made ten times more precious because of our ineluctable fate; so that we are made a hundred times more beautiful through every mistake, every lesson learnt and felt, through every love fell, through every hatred gained. The gods envy us, that's what they used to say.
so my lord when i pray everynight your will be done, not mine. i tremble with the aching desire within to wonder if you would, could, or even should consider mine. after all we are human. and if you'd wanted subservient masses, you have your angels. i guess what i'm trying to say is that, given that you allowed us to be human, understand the hereditary curse and sin that is borne by every man bound to his own will, why should your will be done and not ours? or at least ours taken into consideration. if we follow yours all the time, then which part of us IS human? which part of us did you fall for? our obedience, or our freedom of choice.
i came with a head-full of explanations, rationalisations and examples. but i have forgotten all in my furious bid to make some sense out of the keyboard. maybe it's his way of saying that's enough ranting for the day, and time for me to make my peace with Him.
Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:19 AM with 1 comments
Comments:
You know, sometimes I wish that I had no will on my own and that he would just take over, cuz the things we do can be so silly and fruitless. But hes so gentle and patient with us and our stubborness, only softly nudging when I wish he would just thunder out of the clouds with a clear direction. Yea, I really dunno how much of it is his will or mine. But hes a gentle and noble God.
Post a Comment
