devastatingly human

it's a wednesday night and it feels strangely unsettling to be at home with no programmes for the night;
or day either.

toyed with the idea of going to the gym; like an amateur magician toying meditatively with his silver coin between his fingers. Round the thumb, to the back, now the front again.
now i push the thought backstage, others come on, not on cue, impromptu. so now i play director and yell "Cut", or "no-go" and settle for a dvd and two pratas. so now that that thought has been cast, i have new positions to be filled. reproached myself with the idea of mambo with my friend. she spared me the torture and cancelled on me; relieved in a non-commital sort of way.

i don't like to be pushed with the prospect of being activity-free for the day last minute. i plan for a day all for/by myself and i think of enriching programmes for me and myself to do. it just somehow caught me offguard, i looked at my organiser today and realised i'm as free as a bird. and normally i would whoop, but the lack of funds just persuaded me to stay home and "relax". Gym's too far, adds on to transport costs; shopping, haircut and colouring's probably gonna make me ground myself for the next few months. so oh well, a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do.

i haven't been waxing lyrical about anything lately. i have tonnes to talk, just no words to write. and the setting has to just be about right. i haven't been suspended in my diva cube for ages, because i've taken to using my cousin's computer downstairs. saves time, i scribble out an entry while commercials come on, but i guess it just doesn't evoke as much feeling as it should.

do you readers ever get bored reading my blog? i try my best not to sound as vapid and repetitious as possible but the more i write nowadays the more i'm more conscious of the effort to feel and be appreciated for the things i rhapsodise about. hah, as usual 99% of you probably wouldn't register this and go on reading as per normal.

whadaheck. imma cram myself with ben & Jerry's later armed with another dvd.
tonight is as listless as can be

Joyce Lim unzipped at 8:16 PM with 6 comments
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Comments:

naw, i like reading ure blog. it's funny in a serious type of way

# posted by

Anonymous : 7/20/2005 9:49 PM

Joyce, I've got 2 questions.
Are you dating anyone?

Are u open to me dating you?

I swear I'm in no way kidding.
I mean it in a respectful way.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7/27/2005 4:31 AM

you must be jokin rite?!?!?!??? why would she date u aniwae? what have you got inside you to make her consider u

# posted by

Anonymous : 7/27/2005 11:31 PM

oh yah and why this proposal? what's so great about her aniwae she sounds so pretenscious sometimes

-same anonymous-

# posted by

Anonymous : 7/27/2005 11:34 PM

it's spelt pretentious, by the way.

why do you care so much, the same anonymous? du-uh.

# posted by

hong : 7/29/2005 3:45 PM

i'm not open to dating anyone whose primal instinctual response is to date me.

and thankyou to first anonymous, it's my life's mission to entertain yay :)

# posted by

Joyce Lim : 7/30/2005 10:51 AM