Sunday, August 28, 2005
i'm surprised at myself for being able to hold back the dam as she waved us goodbye through the departure gates. i mean there i was 3 hours earlier just recovering from a series of flooding incompetently scribbling an emotive letter and poem for her. it didn't seem like such a loss i'd convinced myself earlier till i got into mom's car and drove off into the blackness of nostalgia. so then ipodywody started her sad rendition of coffeecult songs and as i pinned the moon into a corner of the black canvass, tears started addling my vision and the sky became a 2 dimensional ripple.
and this stung me dearly. do i need catalysts before i really start feeling? the sadness a reality or merely evoked from some obscure treasury of memories that spell sadness, and then transcribe themselves into a consolidated moment of loss for me; so that i can, at last, really cry and hope she comes back soon to us.
one by one they leave, some by absence, some with tears and some unconsciously and some without regrets. bah.. i only need 5 fingers and one hand to count the number of constants in my life.
i like lauren wood and stunning sade for surrealism.. like.. for now, now. husky voices commune stoically with subtle tamborines, sensuous saxaphones and the tender beating of drums that beat your heart to such bittersweet pleasure. such eroticism is best kept for nights alone, life in my veins, emotions stirring to the richness of cool smoothness.
i am content. Joyce Lim unzipped at 3:22 AM with 0 comments
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