Friday, June 30, 2006
1. Never wear bikinis unless yours are super crazy tight
2. Keep that mouth close. Don't fricking smile even if you manage to stand up on the first try. Say it with me now "The Sea (Soup) is too salty".
And i haven't got my birthday present from hong but there's a sneak preview on her blog, how exciting! so i'll post it up here la
and finally, here are some photos of mambo! ok la i cheated, these were taken 2 weeks ago, or is it three. But fabulously fun on both occasions! Last night was crazy cos pok was obliged to come for my sake and i can pretty much say that was his first time staying on the mambo floor the entire night. i hope i've converted you pok; all those mambo songs i'd burnt on a cd and force you to play in your car and teaching you the right moves really helped hoho!
Joyce Lim unzipped at 2:38 AM with 0 comments Thursday, June 29, 2006
but things have changed since. Uni term starts especially late so please consider my joy.
So as you grow older you start to measure your life in terms of the number of birthday wishes you get. You get anonymous numbers streaming in and you realise it's a friend gone overseas/to army/away etc. you feel immeasurably touched and appreciative that they actually remember; yet you know they had help; Friendster birthday reminders/ emails etc. Nonetheless you recognise the effort made.
Then there are friends who wish you well, and guilt overpowers joy when you realise you can't remember theirs, but you jolly well know it would be suicidal to reply "thanks for the wishes! when's yours?"
And then there are those you wish had wished, but didn't, deliberately, or unknowingly forgot. And you shrug your shoulders and get on with life because who cares for birthdays anyway. everyday is a birthday for somebody else so get a life. Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:07 PM with 0 comments
Saturday, June 24, 2006
We tried to gym in the hotel. and here's a luminous photo of the pool at night. Top floor sky roof overlooking the city and persian tents. What a great place to have a pool in i say! and that's how pok bought his very first aviator shades. by noticing it left a big hole. in his pockets, and on the shelf tsk.
The hotel pool in the day. lovely view hor!
All made of chocolate chocolate! dark chocolate!!! and i LOVE our hotel room. the bathroom is completely transparent and the sheets and pillows made of feathers and down. i love clean laundered snuggled sheets
Being Modelisque is the key
Food glorious food. room service breakfast was a hundred times better than even Ritz back at home. Look at that french toast!
One last parting shot.
Joyce Lim unzipped at 5:12 PM with 0 comments Thursday, June 15, 2006
But i cannot, i cannot. I've exhausted all i have; and all i have i've said. Perhaps dreams are the alternative expression. But dark have been my dreams of late. I've dreamt gore, horror, repression, tensions and have woken up to stranger emotions and disturbed psyches. I scare myself, berating myself of the hidden unconsciousness that i know not of, which reign so strongly in my dreams. I could have knelt down and prayed at that very moment in the dream when it turned sinister, but i did not. Indeed, such a thought never entered my conscious self in an unconscious dream. Does this mean i don't pray enough; it must mean something when the thought of my Saviour doesn't enter my head automatically when it should.
Sigh. What is wrong with me. What IS it with all these questions and relentless evaluations.
Last night i dreamt i reconciled with an ex school mate of mine. It happened last year, the issue i mean. Why did i dream of such a thing; i was even so conciliatory in the dream. Can it be, that all these months i've been dying to reconcile with her? Or more likely i was just aching for a chance to finally put an end to this malignment of mine, an opportunity for a show-hand. Yes, i think perhaps, the latter holds water. Why should i care for a patching up, she was never a supporting role in my life, she was there for the ride, just like i was when things rode well. Why should i care what she thinks of me, we were never close, or maybe that perhaps is just one of the many lies i've told myself along the way. Perhaps i do care afterall, i do care what people, i don't care for, think about me.
Let's play at lies shall we? fan and swirl the smoke around us with our hands, tread upon the edge of a knife, each lie a shard, each deceit and pretense a hurtful song. Shards and Song, Use and Abuse.
I hate friends when they're not. Joyce Lim unzipped at 3:40 AM with 1 comments
Suddenly i don't feel like going. So i sigh and wonder why am i being difficult again. But am i? Much as i know i should be happy i actually get to go on a holiday with pok, i can't help but know things don't always turn out the way you expect them to. Especially holiday expectations; just look at Redang; at least i came back with newfound insights and beautiful photos, but will HongKong be all i ever wanted and expected and more?
I wonder when ever will it be my turn to tour the world. And i want someone beside me to taste that. I reek, reluctantly, of envy whenever i hear of friends, lovebirds, touring Europe on their own. Spain, Paris, London, Rome. oh Parents.. bah! How can they know that i don't care if lovely moments and snapshots of the world i spend with my significant other isn't going to be the one i marry. I don't care if at that point of my youthful existance i once shared my heart with another. At least i have those moments, shared with husband-to-be or not, i don't care.
someone once told me with all i had going for me, it was a wonder i wasn't as well travelled as my contemporaries. Now who can i blame it on? Myself, for starters, bad A levels results, no scholarship, no London, No UCL, no law degree. And i think of all the places i could have been had i gone overseas. My fault, no doubt about it.
I give my heart to someplace, somewhere larger than it can contain. Believe me, with all my heart, when i say that i yearn so much to tear asunder the things that prevent my going, i don't know how to say this, but it's not so much the idea of travelling that appeals to me but the thought of giving a part of myself away to each and every country i've been to. To grow in wonder, to be wiser, more beautiful through foreign things and stranger places.
To put it into another perspective: Just so in old age when i reminisce on old times, i'd have a lot more to say when i go "Remember the times when we..." Joyce Lim unzipped at 2:52 AM with 1 comments
Sunday, June 11, 2006
i know it sounds condescending to smile and tell myself: haven't we heard this all before. What's new? Nothing is. Nobody gives a damn about what i write, or what i think, or feel, or say and do. It is strangely arrogant to keep a blog, methinks. As if supply guarantees a demanding audience. i post all these photos, and for what? It is unlikely i post them for my own amusement; it is likely i gain amusement from the attention others pay to the photos, but it is very unlikely i post them for my own sake, and even more unlikely for me to peruse on my own time. Sometimes you come to a stop and you start to wonder what all these are for.
Yes, indeed, what are they for. And then i'm vindicated, and a tangy bitter anger surges that wants to tear it all down. Shred them into electronic pieces and dump them in the trash. Consider the word Hobby. A name invented for people who like to think themselves good at something. A euphemism. A farce. Hobbies my ass.
Blogs and Hobbies go together like.. like, see there i go again, thinking my eyeballs out for a catchy simile. Who gives a shit.
It's like this see, Wilde was forthright and brutally honest. Our thoughts are somebody else's, our lives a mimicry. The shadow of the shadow of the shadow of the life of the lamp that shone upon it.
and here i go again, more photos because i forgot to post this up yesterday. HAHA. sorry pok.
Joyce Lim unzipped at 3:02 AM with 0 comments Saturday, June 10, 2006
but i will say this. there was marathon watching of dvds; with girls and pokpok too. i really love chickflicks. i think the best kind of emotions are the kind you never really speak of, but feel so deeply.
sigh, the days go by so fast.
Joyce Lim unzipped at 12:49 AM with 0 comments Monday, June 05, 2006
ps. Black pepper chicken tastes better when eaten. Jacob's Cafe at Changi Village. i know it's rather far, but it's a good time for a nice night drive with your friends to be food critics for a day. Plus my mom gives discounts if you give good tips.
Joyce Lim unzipped at 12:50 AM with 0 comments Saturday, June 03, 2006
still, i sat in the driver's seat and fiddled around with all the buttons and compartments and whathaveyounots. and i'm very happy the new car has an airbag for the passenger too. quite splendid i say. i wanted to take photos and post it here but i thought, hell, for what man, also not my car show off for what.
oh oh oh!! i simply must say this. pokpok is so protective of his car that he made a rule that whoever enters his car must take off your footwear and make em face upward. i think it's cute and funny at the same time, but i also warned him he wouldn't really care after a while. what say you? huh huh?
ok.. weiwei over and out Joyce Lim unzipped at 6:24 PM with 0 comments