Thursday, June 30, 2005
i'm fucking older but no wiser and the self castigation runs much deeper than the AWOL issue. two paths diverged in the woods and i think i left to follow the one leading right into the heart of it. this broken thread i'm left with again and again and again. Again IS again IS again. the nonextant. Bang, Blitz and i'm left with the omitted.
no-show
Ghost
Gone
and this windy vacuous vapidness i feel, you call that empty? no, i called THAT empty. feeling inadequate and pathetic with an empty canvas, palatte, paintbrush in hand but no portrait to show. i'm left, yet again, with the airy gossamer pages of fancies you left me with.
and i feel deprived, yet i know my Lord makes me lie down in green pastures. but i feel in want. and i'm beginning to see what i'm in want of.
i'm in want of me.
i need to love me more. Joyce Lim unzipped at 4:08 PM with 0 comments
i've arrived. again. finally.
yet i feel empty Joyce Lim unzipped at 6:04 AM with 0 comments
Monday, June 20, 2005
Hong and i
my girls
Jon
ooh yeaaa
click here for more photos of my party! it's from page 4 to 6. sorry there's a paucity of photos i was super busy that night ah well my dahhlings.. enjoy! :)
while i head off for a uni camp till fri :( Joyce Lim unzipped at 12:59 AM with 2 comments
Friday, June 17, 2005
and love you
Both.
God i wish a thicker line could be drawn between love and hate; between him and you. Joyce Lim unzipped at 4:42 PM with 0 comments
my mom says i look like that girl who posed naked on her blog sarongpartygirl.blogspot.com
lucky she's fat, and my mom paid me a rather nice compliment
"And your not! TADA! so it's not you"
YES TADA.. happy happy OF COURSE IT"S NOT ME
it was in the papers yesterday.
like wtf, my MOM says i look like her
i am bloody traumatised now
imagine going out into the streets and have millions of pairs of eyes glued to my ass
i'm about to have a mental breakdown.
seriously, not for anyone's sake but just give her a break la. she's getting all this flak just cos she's singaporean. who would give a damn if she weren't chinese Joyce Lim unzipped at 1:34 AM with 2 comments
Thursday, June 16, 2005
i feel this sudden wash of gratitude breaking upon my sandy heart. "i'm praying desperately for new people to come leave their watershed several, little imprints, their toenails dug deep into my wet sandy heart, a stick trail scrawling heartsy patterns and names with circles over the letters "i"."
i remember typing that, while chasing stormy clouds. hearts and names with circles over the letter "i"s have already been indelibly scrawled in. i just never really appreciated the truth in full view.
lazy baby lazy baby what a glorious moonlit night. it's been a while since i've tried to compose a repertoire with damp locks and a starry night in tow. i shan't try too hard. Words should be familiar yet simple enough to be poignant. the kind of dust we brush off our sleeves, the kind that rolls off tongues, the kind we sing, the kind that lolls away in waves of uncomplicated fludity.
words are child's play.
and i typed the following in another blog of mine not too long ago:
suspended up in midair, my boxey diva room. a rope that hangs from the sky, a cube of a room, a vault in secrecy and of esotericism and the sweetest scent poised, skimming the air as it twirls round and round before reaching my ears.
Your words are cold and flat, and i deserve much more than that..
the truth indeed. last night i was hanging on a thread. bet you didn't know the heaviness of the sigh that expired inside.
What a difference a day makes..
what would i do without jazz.
i cried certain tears last night. they were few but rare. and you know i can't type this in Iridescentia for the simple reason that you might be watching. and i cried not for you but for me. for the simple reason that i'm fatigued beyond cognizance and tired of the games i put myself through.
s.i.g.h
walking down to the water's edge
where i have been before
i don't find my love some time
i'm walking out that door
some may come and some may go
no one seems to be
the person i've been searching for
the one whose meant for me.
and i shall now attempt to dilute this inchoate attraction with intangible results of books, music and the mirth of girly laughter and fun.
ahh.. I bore you. i bore myself in circles.
goodnight darlings Joyce Lim unzipped at 11:58 PM with 0 comments
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Saturday, June 04, 2005
darlingssss just come la crap! must the princess actually plead for people to come to her BALL?!?! Joyce Lim unzipped at 12:28 AM with 10 comments